four steps to heaven

eddie cochrane was wrong. there are four steps to heaven.

step one:

choose a plate. 

this is my favourite plate. a 12 inch diameter

beauty which i was presented with at champneys after giving 

one of my famous lectures on healthy eating.

step two:

put the jockeys in the middle. this will be the base.

step three:

clumsily empty a carton of chicken fried rice on top of

the jockeys. taking care to spill some rice and the odd pea

onto the kitchen surface.

step four:

pour a carton of curry sauce over the mound of chicken fried rice

and chips. once again i recommend spilling just a little curry sauce 

onto the kitchen surface.

you will need the following accessories:

1. a fork

       2. some beer

job done.